Writing articles can feel challenging. Every week, the minute one is posted, I’m already thinking about the next. In today’s world, there’s more than enough fodder for the fire—mass layoffs, department cuts, budget slashes—and all the emotions that accompany them. Fear, anger, disgust, despair—helping people navigate these emotional consequences is my work, and sometimes, it can feel overwhelming to decide where to begin.
Ironically, this pressure drives me deeper. I search for the one topic that hits me in the gut and whispers: “This is it. Share this. Help others find their inner strength.”
Today, I want to share a technique I discovered in Inc. Magazine: Emotionally Intelligent People Use a Brilliant 5-Word Question to Think Clearly and Make Better Decisions by Justin Barsio (2025).
The 5-Word Question
Barsio tells the story of a friend seeking advice. Instead of giving an immediate answer, he asked:
“What advice would you give?”
At first, this might sound confusing or even annoying. But it’s brilliant. It encourages the person asking for guidance to step outside themselves and view the problem from a fresh, more objective perspective.
Barsio compares it to observing a chess match: it’s easier to see the next move as an observer than as a player immersed in the game. Similarly, stepping back from your own problem allows you to identify solutions more clearly.
Why This Works
When emotions run high, our ability to think clearly diminishes. Take a simple example:
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You’re late, the kids (or pets!) aren’t cooperating, and you can’t find your phone.
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Your heart races, frustration builds, you start yelling, tearing the house apart.
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Finally, someone points out, “It’s in your back pocket!”
Our brains are neurochemically overwhelmed during high-stress moments. According to Dr. Gary Small, Director of the Memory and Aging Research Center at UCLA:
“The brain is very sensitive to stimulation. Repeated stimuli—like searching frantically for a phone—excite neural circuits, making it difficult to process other information” (2011).
The more emotionally invested we are in a solution, the harder it becomes to see clearly.
How to Apply the Technique
When you feel overwhelmed or emotionally tied to a decision, step back and ask yourself:
“What advice would I give?”
Treat yourself as your own best friend, mentor, or coach. By doing so, you separate yourself from the emotional chaos, gain perspective, and find a clearer path forward.
Final Thoughts
In these chaotic times, taking a moment to breathe, step back, and view your situation objectively is invaluable. Even small pauses can allow you to make better decisions for yourself and your loved ones—two-legged or four!
I’d love to hear from you: What techniques have helped you make decisions when emotions are overwhelming? Drop a comment and an emoji to share your thoughts.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, remember that help is available. Dial 988 to connect with a trained professional. You are never alone.