I’ve been called an “opinionated” driver by my children. Okay, maybe they never used that word exactly—but let’s go with it for politeness.
There are two kinds of drivers:
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Defensive drivers (taught in driving school)
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Offensive drivers (my father’s school of thought: the road is your field, the car your legs, and the goal is to navigate and excel).
I thrive on the road as an adventure. Others? Not so much. Some feel frightened, overwhelmed, and anxious because they cannot control all the other drivers around them. Anxiety doesn’t stop the driving—it just colors the experience.
A Mother-Daughter Driving Story
Our daughter is a nervous driver. She’s improved, but she sees the road differently—slow, steady, rule-following, “if I just do everything right, I’ll be okay.”
This makes me nervous. I know the road’s risks. I know the limits of a confident driver. But I also know her limits, and I must trust her.
One day, I suggested a roundabout route to her first day at a new job. She left early, we joked over memes, and then—panic. A call:
“I’m going to be late! I’m stuck behind school buses!”
My heart raced. I calmed myself and calmly reminded her:
“So you’re not in an accident?”
“No! I’m freaking out because I’ll be late!”
“Take a breath. Remember your coping tools. You’ve got this.”
She hung up. My nervous system? Out of whack. But I reminded myself: she’s trained, capable, an adult. I needed to trust.
Hours later, a call:
“I’m heading home. What a shift!”
Safe. She survived her first day—and more importantly, she managed her panic and calmed her own nervous system.
The Lesson
Over the years, we’ve taught her techniques for anxiety:
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Four breaths in, hold, four breaths out
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Tapping
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Reframing inner dialogue
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Creating small routines to feel safe and in control
That day, she used those tools without prompting. She faced fear, took control of her emotional response, and succeeded.
Her growth is remarkable. From the little girl who would melt under pressure, she is becoming a young woman capable of emotional maturity, courage, and self-regulation.
Calming your nervous system is about being present and engaged, even when fear or panic arises. It’s about learning to navigate life with tools, awareness, and courage.
Your Turn
We all experience moments where our nervous system feels out of control. What have you learned to help calm yourself?
Share your thoughts in the comments and drop an emoji to show how you relate.
If you or someone you know struggles with anxiety or calming the nervous system, reach out—to a trusted friend, family member, or your primary care provider. Help is available. You’re worth it.